Becoming a Transformational Coach
This article was based off the talk Becoming a Transformational Coach given by Eric Nelson, Athletes in Action President, during the International Coaches Academy
The Total Coach
I would say this: Every team or organization is limited by the character of its leaders. That is the ceiling. Leaders with low character—although sometimes they win over the long haul—they may win in the short term, but how would competition be affected if character became the most important thing?
The most famous coach in the US, his name is John Wooden. He won 10 championships at the highest level of university in 12 years. And he said: "Be more concerned with your character than your reputation."
The Power of a Coach
We understand, because you're here, the power of a coach. A good coach can change a game. A great coach can change a life. It's been said that a coach will have more impact in one year than the average person has in a lifetime. It's a big responsibility, right?
Yet, if you ask all of our staff—we have a lot of staff here that are serving you because they care about you as the coach—we know coaches all across the US, and we see coaches that fail because they don't know how to take care of themselves. They don't lead themselves very well. So you can have a great impact or a horrible impact, depending on you as the person.
So here are the goals for our time right now: What does it mean to become the kind of person that can be transformational? How do those words translate: Transformational vs. Transactional? It's not about just doing the right thing, but becoming the kind of person that can do the right thing.
Transactional vs. Transformational Leadership
If I'm a transactional coach, then I want something from you, and when I'm done getting that from you... well, who knows leaders like that?
Reflection: Who has had the most impact on your life, and what are two traits as to why they had an impact on you?
Answers given by the International coach participants:
Consistency.
Integrity.
Understanding.
Encouragement.
That is a great list. How do we become this person? It doesn't just happen overnight. Sometimes we wake up and we feel like we want to love someone; other days we don't. But becoming the kind of person that can live this way takes intentionality in your life. It starts with you.
Every day, my challenge usually is not to lead the people that I lead, but to lead myself. That's the challenge.
Traits of a Transactional Leader:
Winning is the only thing.
You treat players like Kleenex. When you're done with them, you throw them away. And the player knows he was just used by you. Have you ever been with a coach where, when a player gets hurt, they just discard them? Are you a "tissue coach"? I hope not.
These coaches are more consumed with performance and image than they are with true people.
Traits of a Transformational Leader:
Winning is not the only goal; the development of people is the focus.
When I started coaching, I had a problem with my anger. So when players wouldn't block out repeatedly, I would lose my temper. I got results for just a moment. If you yell and you kick, you get results for just a short sentence. But the long journey is that they are waiting for you to lose your temper again before they do the right thing.
So rather than yell, I would walk up to a player that's not rebounding and I'd say, "You know, I'm really angry right now, but I'm not going to yell at you. If you don't block out anymore, you are going to have to run some sprints. Can we do better? You're better than that."
You cannot lead others if you don't know how to lead yourself.
The 5 P's of Leading Yourself
Our tendency as coaches is to think about everybody in our life that's not living this way. Stop it. Think about you. How are you leading yourself? A healthy coach is a healthy team. A mature coach is a mature team. A coach that develops trust has trust in his team.
How are you showing up today? Many of you are tired. Need more coffee. When you left your country, were you like this cup—almost dry? Or is your cup almost overflowing, where everybody else gets the overflow because your life is so full?
I'm going to quickly go through the 5 P's of how to lead yourself.
1. Purpose
Why do you do what you do? Why do you coach? Why do you lead? If you're not clear, then somebody else will define this for you.
The word "coach" came from the stagecoach. The purpose of the stagecoach is that it takes important people from here to there. Isn't that what you do? You help a player get from here to there.
So this is a question for you to work on in five words or less: What is your purpose statement? Where is that posted where you can see it? Remind yourself every day.
2. People
We cannot grow in isolation. It never happens. Why do I need people? Do you ever wake up and feel overwhelmed? What do you do? Who do you talk to?
People give us courage to keep going. When I want to quit, they say, "No, you can't. Keep going." If I say, "Sir Parfait, I'm really struggling today," and he says, "You can do it," he gives me courage. They protect me in my weakness. My wife of 40 years protects me. If I let her know what my weakness is, she has a way of protecting me against my own devices that destroy people and myself.
Consider the 3 C's: A Coach, a Consultant, a Counselor.
A Coach helps me walk in my role.
A Consultant helps me with my skill.
A Counselor helps me with my heart and mind.
Who are those people in your life?
3. Pace
Do you ever feel like you're swimming upstream and you can't make any headway? Just too much to do? How do we protect our pace?
Don't save your timeouts. Some coaches save their timeouts to the end, and then they don't use them. I'm telling you, use your timeouts. Here is an inside trick: You have unlimited 30-second timeouts in life.
Sometimes I'm walking into a meeting that has a lot of conflict, and I stop and take a 30-second timeout. I tell myself, "Don't yell at this person. Don't be defensive." In the mornings, I grab coffee and I take 15 minutes to stop and think about the day.
4. Priorities
If you don't decide, then what happens? Somebody decides for you.
Here's a quiz based on the time matrix:
Important and Urgent: Must do right now.
Important but Not Urgent: Strategic planning, relationship building.
Not Important but Urgent: Interruptions, some calls.
Not Important and Not Urgent: Scrolling on Instagram or Facebook.
The fellow that wrote the book First Things First suggests that high-performing leaders spend their time differently. Leadership happens before the sun comes up. Sometimes I think about, "What are the three things I need to do in the next three months?" It helps get clear in my mind.
5. Perspective
I want to tell you a story here. Does anybody know what the Hubble Space Telescope is?
In 1990, the US spent $1.5 billion on the Hubble telescope. They sent it up to space to take better pictures. But the pictures came back blurry. Everybody was making fun of NASA. The nighttime talk show people were telling jokes about the failure.
It took somebody in their research department to ask, "I wonder if we can fix this?" They found out that the large mirror was off by 1/50th of a human hair.
They went up and shaved it down 1/50th of a human hair. The pictures became clear. That small change changed the perspective.
When I put my reading glasses on, I see things differently. What perspective are you looking at life from? Abundance or scarcity? Long term or short term? Life depends on me, or life depends on others? What lens are you looking through? It makes all the difference.
When you die, what will they say about you? Will they talk about your championships? Or will they talk about who you are as a person? Those are the virtues that I want them to talk about.
The Hakeem Olajuwon Story
Let me tell you a quick story. I was coaching a junior team in Texas, in Houston, home of the Houston Rockets. In 1995, they just won the championship. The MVP was Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon. He lived really close to the school where I was coaching. Right before the next season was going to start, he said, "Hey Coach, can I come work out in your gym tomorrow?"
I said, "You're The Dream. You're the MVP. Yes! But you have to sign some basketballs."
So Hakeem comes to the gym. He has a trainer. He puts the cones down, gets a basketball. And you know what you do with seven or eight-year-olds when you're starting dribbling? You go right around the cone. That's what he's doing. Slowly. Chest up, tail down, eyes up. He's doing this for like 10 minutes.
I'm thinking, "You're the MVP, don't you have a new move or something?"He says, "I need to be better at dribbling." After about 10 or 15 minutes, he stops and comes over to me. He asks, "What do you think, Coach? I'm thinking, "You're The Dream! I coach 18-year-old boys, and you're asking me?"
But I did notice something about his footwork. I thought, do I take a risk? He asked, so I went for it. I said, "You know, Hakeem, when you go this way, you square up on this foot. When you go the other way, you still square up on your right foot and you're off balance. Here's a little drill: Get your heel in, point your toe, square your shoulders."
We worked on this drill. I worried he might think I was stupid. But he did it for 10 minutes, and he goes, "That's so good, Coach. What are you doing tomorrow?"
I said, "I can't make it. Sorry. I got PE." (No, actually I made plans for him!)
What did that tell you about the best in the world? He is a lifelong learner. He didn't care who told him; his perspective was "I can grow, I can improve, I can change."
Conclusion
So:
Purpose: What is your purpose?
People: Who is in your life?
Pace: How can you protect your pace?
Priorities: Are you taking time to evaluate?
Perspective: How are you looking at life?
In order to do the right thing, you have to be the right person.
I hope this talk will help you become the right person.
